Love Is a Four-Letter Word

In honor of Hallmark Da... er, Valentine's Day, AOL Music has launched The 69 Sexiest Songs... Ever! Full disclosure time: I am a contributor to the list. The best part is the radio station that accompanies the feature, because none other than the Queen of Porn herself, Jenna Jameson, acts as host. And she reads some of my blurbs, which means I can now honestly say that I put something sexual in Jenna Jameson's mouth. Only like... 15,000 guys on the planet can say that!

**SEMI-RELATED UPDATE** As if any of us needed another reason to steer clear of Alabama... the state courts have upheld a ban on dildos, vibrators, and any other contraption designed expressly for the stimulation of human genitalia. So you can own an assault rifle, and you can probably fuck/marry your cousin/grandmother/cow/cat, but no little rabbits for Alabamaniacs!

Some unrelated items:

Perennial NBA also-ran Tim Hardaway has, for reasons unknown, waded into the John Amaechi coming-out party to publicly proclaim that he, Tim Hardaway, is a fucking asshole. I'm unclear as to why a player of Hardaway's stature (i.e., very little) should think anyone cares about his opinion, but we got it anyway:

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

Little Timmy looks like an even bigger asshole when his comments are contrasted with those of The Round Mound of Rebound, Sir Charles Barkley. When asked for his reaction to Amaechi's gaiety on ESPN's Pardon the Interruption, Chuck replied, "I could care less. I've got a ton of gay freinds, I've played with gay guys... It's no big deal whatsoever." In conclusion, Tim Hardaway just went from former player nobody cares about to hate-filled asswipe nobody cares about. So endeth your additional 15 minutes, dick.

***UPDATE*** NBA Commissioner David Stern has barred Tim Hardaway from all NBA All Star Weekend functions in Las Vegas this weekend, and has removed him as a spokesperson for the league. In a typically canny move, Stern is treating Hardaway like a leper at a buffet table, saying, "We removed him from representing us because we didn't think his comments were consistent with having anything to do with us."

***DOUBLE-SECRET PROBATION UPDATE*** From The Onion: "John Amaechi Comes Out as Former NBA Player"

Factory Records cofounder Tony Wilson has cancer. It would be tragic to lose Mr. Wilson... not to mention the irony of him dying this close to the release of the upcoming Ian Curtis biopic. So hang in there, Tony.

Finally, I encourage you to watch this, then learn all about Godzillan anatomy. [both via BoingBoing]

Happy day after Valentine's Day.